


Stray Cat Strut

by Go-Go Spiders (red_starshine)



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Animal Transformation, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Heist, M/M, Magical Accidents, Magical Artifacts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 01:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14273832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_starshine/pseuds/Go-Go%20Spiders
Summary: Lupin's heist of an ancient Egyptian emerald, the Eye of Bastet, goes sideways when another thief steals the Eye first and uses it to turn Lupin into a cat.





	1. Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.Net

t was supposed to be an easy job. The Eye of Bastet gemstone was being displayed in a small museum about a hundred miles north of New York City with laughable security, even after Lupin had delivered his calling card. The card, as expected, had brought Zenigata from Tokyo, but the decoy getaway helicoptor Fujiko was flying above the museum was drawing his attention elsewhere at the moment, leaving the museum wide open for Lupin, Jigen and Goemon.

But apparently someone else had noticed the museum's security was a joke as well.

When Lupin, Jigen and Goemon broke in to grab the gem, it was already gone. The glass case had been cut open, and a large grey rock sat on the pedestal where there should have been a polished emerald the size of a softball.

"What the-" said Lupin. He reached into the case and prodded at the rock. "Hey! Where's the Eye of Bastet?"

"Someone grabbed the Eye before we could?" said Jigen. "Well, that's not very nice."

"It was here when the museum closed," said Goemon.

Lupin prodded at the edges of the hole cut into the display case. ""Looks like it was cut with a torch. Still hot. Whoever took it might still be in the museum."

"If the gem's not here, we should probably skedaddle. Unless you want to try and find 'em, Lupin?" said Jigen.

Lupin nodded.

They had split up, each taking a wing of the museum to look through. Lupin had found the thief in the museum's enclosed statue garden. Oddly, he wasn't attempting to hide, instead standing by the large window, looking out at the full moon with the Eye of Bastet in his hand.

There were more elegant, showy ways to separate the other thief from the gemstone, but Lupin decided to just tackle him. The man groaned as his body hit the floor with Lupin on top of him, still clutching the jewel in one hand.

The other thief was much older and frailer than Lupin, looking to be in his mid-sixties, with white hair and a scraggly beard. He wore a black hooded coat. "Stop! This is mine! I've been planning it for so long!"

"Sorry grandpa, but I called dibs on this!" said Lupin, trying to pry the jewel out of the other man's hands.

The old man frowned and drove his knee into Lupin's stomach.

Taken by surprise, Lupin wheezed in pain, momentarily loosening his grip on the Eye.

Shouting something a language Lupin didn't understand, the other man thrust the Eye of Bastet into Lupin's face, touching the gem to his forehead.

"Wha-"

A flash of green light exploded in front of Lupin's eyes, and then darkness.

* * *

"Didn't find the Eye either, huh?" said Jigen as he met up with Goemon back in front of the Eye's empty case several minutes later.

Goemon shook his head. "We should depart. Fujiko won't be able to distract Zenigata forever."

Jigen nodded. "Yeah, let's go collect the boss and then get the hell out of here."

Together, the two ran down into the statue garden, where Lupin had gone. Lupin himself was nowhere in sight, but his clothes were lying in a pile in front of a large window, even his shoes.

"How strange," said Goemon, kneeling down on the floor. He lifted Lupin's jacket off the floor with his sheathed sword. "Why would Lupin leave his clothing here?"

"Lupin?" called Jigen, his voice echoing in the empty statue garden. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

Silence.

"This isn't funny, Lupin! We need to go!"

The pile of Lupin's clothes rustled slightly, meowing at them.

Jigen and Goemon looked at each other. Jigen knelt down and picked up the discarded dress shirt, revealing a lanky dark brown cat curled up in Lupin's striped boxers. It meowed again when it saw Jigen.

"What's a cat doing there?" said Jigen in surprise.

"Lupin!" called Inspector Zenigata from the museum entrance. The running footsteps of the other officers with Zenigata began to grow louder. "Give it up, I know you're in here! Surrender!"

"Goemon, I think we've overstayed our welcome," said Jigen, standing up.

"But-"

"Lupin's a grown man, he can take care of himself, wherever he is," said Jigen. "But it's time for us to haul ass out of here."

"Understood." Goemon stood up, unsheathing Zantetsuken. He leapt at the garden's window, landing multiple slashes.

The window crumbled apart, chunks of glass and masonry landing in the parking lot three stories below.

Jigen jumped out the window, holding his hat down. Goemon followed a moment later, just as Zenigata and several officers burst into the statue garden. "Lupin!"

* * *

The dark brown cat trilled at the sight of Zenigata, working its way free from the pile of Lupin's clothing. Attempting to run to the window, it appeared to get tangled up in its own four legs and flopped over onto its belly, sliding down the polished marble floor.

Zenigata dashed to the broken window, ignoring the cat. He was just in time to watch Lupin's yellow Fiat disappear from sight down the road.

"Crap, crap, crap!" he shouted before turning on his heel to the officers behind him. "Secure the museum, make sure there's no one else here!"

"Inspector?" said one of the officers. "What do you make of this?"

Zenigata turned around, noticing the cat and the pile of Lupin's clothing for the first time. "Oh."

The cat made another desperate dash for the window, but Zenigata bent down and gently picked it up before it could try to jump out. "Hey, I know cats have nine lives but you'd use all of 'em up if you fell three stories," he admonished it.

The cat meowed again, squirming in Zenigata's hands. It suddenly froze, looked down at itself, and then began thrashing around in blind panic, its tail puffing out as it let out a loud yowl.

Zenigata blinked at the cat.

"Sir? Perhaps you should put the cat down," said one of the officers. "It might be feral, or diseased."

The cat gave the officer a look that could only be described as 'offended', but stopped flailing.

"No," said Zenigata after a moment. He stared suspiciously at the cat. "I don't think he's a stray. Looks to me like he's lived in the lap of luxury all his life."

"If you think that's someone's lost pet, I can call someone from Animal Control to come pick it up," the officer offered.

Zenigata shook his head. "I'll handle it. You three comb through what Lupin left behind. Just be careful with whatever you find, he's extremely tricky."

"Yes, sir!"


	2. Part Two

This was all just a terrible dream. Or the older thief had managed to dose him with extremely powerful hallucinogens and now Lupin was having one hell of a bad trip. Maybe he'd hit his head during the scuffle with the other man. There had to be a sensible explanation for this.

It was impossible for him to have actually been turned into a cat.

But he was positive he hadn't imagined his friends (who now looked like giants) leaving him behind. Jigen had looked right at him and not recognized him. Now he was quite literally in the hands of Inspector Zenigata.

The more time passed, the harder it was for Lupin to deny it: he was a cat. He didn't have his gun, he didn't have his gadgets, and at the moment, he didn't even have opposable thumbs.

Lupin had to get away from Zenigata and back to his gang. He certainly had no intention of being taken to the animal shelter, but Zenigata had a pretty good grip on him and was unfazed by Lupin's attempts to wiggle his way to freedom.

In the museum's parking lot, Zenigata watched the other officers carefully catalog and place each piece of Lupin's clothing and possessions into brown paper bags, and then into red evidence boxes.

"Could I borrow one of those boxes?" Zenigata said to one of the police officers. "For the cat."

"Sure, Inspector." The officer placed one in front of Zenigata. "Although I don't think we should treat the cat as evidence. He probably wouldn't like being put into the evidence locker at the station."

"That's an understatement," Zenigata muttered under his breath. "All right cat, in you go."

Lupin hissed. _'Nope nope nope, not going into the box!'_ He thrashed around again, trying to wriggle loose from Zenigata's hands. _'Pops, this is humiliating!'_

"Stop squirming!" Zenigata said.

 _'Nooooo!'_ Lupin braced his paws against the edges of the box as Zenigata tried to put him inside. When Zenigata raised him up above the box again, Lupin batted at the sleeve of Zenigata's trenchcoat.

Even though Lupin had been careful to not extend his claws, Zenigata still flinched, and his grip on Lupin loosened. It was only for a moment, but Lupin saw his chance.

He slipped free from Zenigata's hands, dashing through the empty parking lot towards the road. Once he reached the road, he could make his way back to the abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town his gang was using as a hideout. The museum was about six miles away from the warehouse - a ten minute drive by car. It'd probably take a lot longer on foot (on paw?) to get there. And of course, once he got there, he'd have to figure out some way to let his friends know he was Lupin and not just a stray cat who'd happened to wander inside.

 _'I just hope the others are way better at charades than I am,'_ Lupin thought to himself.

Lupin heard Zenigata and one of the other officers running after him, Zenigata shouting something at the top of his lungs, but Lupin couldn't quite make out what he was saying.

_'Huh. Is it just me or does Zenigata actually sound worried?'_

Lupin had almost reached the road when he realized what Zenigata was yelling.

"You idiot! Stop, there's a car coming!"

Lupin abruptly froze. His whiskers were inches away from the gigantic red sports car that barreled past him at over sixty miles per hour. He'd been so wrapped up in his own thoughts he hadn't noticed it approaching, even with his improved night vision. His legs shaking, Lupin collapsed by the side of the road, curling his tail around himself.

"Jeeze, you really scared me," said Zenigata from behind Lupin, slightly winded. Lupin heard him place something on the ground.

Lupin glanced behind him. Zenigata had stopped a few feet away from him, the box at his feet, and was in the middle of taking off his trenchcoat. As Lupin watched, he folded the trenchcoat up and then placed it in the bottom of the box.

"And there, you have a cushion. Will you get in the damn box now?" said Zenigata tiredly.

Lupin stared at the box and then at the empty road. It suddenly occurred to him that speeding cars weren't the only thing he'd have to look out for. There were wild animals out there that were less of a danger to a human, but as a cat his only defenses were his teeth and claws. He was practically a small, furry appetizer. Even a raccoon could probably give him a pretty good fight.

Lupin walked over to Zenigata and the evidence box. Sighing to himself, he jumped into the box. _'What the hell. Maybe the animal shelter's closer to the hideout anyway.'_

* * *

Lupin had stopped listening to Zenigata and the other officers talk once he was brought back to the staging area in the parking lot where the police were finishing up sorting through his things. After the evidence boxes with Lupin's possessions were loaded into the trunk of a squad car, Zenigata got into a second police car with Lupin's box. Another officer got into the driver's seat of the car and started the engine.

 _'The animal shelter should be easier to break out of than jail,'_ Lupin thought morosely. _'There won't be guards everywhere. Maybe if I can get to a computer I can send an e-mail out to Jigen and the others, have them come to me...'_

Zenigata had Lupin's box on his lap. As he made polite small talk with the other officer, Zenigata tentatively stroked the top of Lupin's head, scratching behind his ears.

That wasn't so bad. It felt kinda nice, actually. Without realizing it, Lupin's eyes slowly closed and he started purring, leaning his head into Zenigata's hand. He only stopped when Zenigata took his hand away.

_'Aw, c'mon Pops. That was like the one good thing that's happened to me tonight...'_

"Is this the place, Inspector?" said the driver, the car slowing down to a stop.

"Yeah. I appreciate the lift, Officer."

"I'll be back in five hours to bring you back to the station, then. Eight AM, sir, on the dot."

 _'Wait, five hours?'_ It wouldn't take Zenigata that long to drop him off at the shelter.

"I'll see you then," said Zenigata, opening the car door carefully, trying not to jostle Lupin's box too much as he got out of the car. "You get some rest too, Ashford."

"Thank you, sir. I'll try," said the driver, and then Zenigata shut the door. The car drove off.

Curious, Lupin poked his head out of the box, looking around. As he suspected, they were standing in front of the cheap roadside motel where Interpol had booked a room for Zenigata, the sky already starting to turn a pale purple.

Lupin glanced up at Zenigata and let out what he hoped was a questioning chirp. _'Why'd you bring me here, Pops? Am I so disgustingly adorable as a cat you wanna adopt me?'_

"Keep your head down, this place doesn't allow pets," said Zenigata out of the corner of his mouth.

Lupin quietly growled in annoyance, but sat back down on Zenigata's trenchcoat. Zenigata placed his hat on top of the evidence box as he entered the motel.

Zenigata walked past the dingy reception desk, awkwardly waving to the man behind the counter, who didn't glance up from his crossword puzzle. An ancient TV set next to him was playing an infomercial for an expensive vacuum cleaner, next to an equally old telephone with 'LOCAL CALLS ONLY' taped to the headset.

As soon as the reception desk was out of sight, Zenigata scrambled down the hall to his room, unlocking the door and nearly jumping through it. After Zenigata had shut and locked the door, he placed the evidence box on the ratty pea-green shag carpeting and scooped Lupin out.

Zenigata held him at eye level, studying the dark brown cat intently.

Lupin stared back at him quizzically, not sure why Zenigata was acting so jumpy and strange. He meowed.

Zenigata closed his eyes and placed the cat down on the mustard yellow paisley bedspread. "God. What am I doing," he muttered dejectedly. He sat down on the carpet, his back against the bed, and slowly exhaled, bowing his head. "If I tell Interpol I arrested a goddamn cat for multiple counts of theft all over the world, they'll think I've finally lost it."

It took a split second for the implications of what Zenigata had said to sink in.

' _Theft all over the world?_ ' Lupin meowed at him again, moving closer to the edge of the bed until he could see Zenigata's face. He couldn't have... _'Zenigata?'_

Zenigata raised his head and looked at Lupin, meeting his eyes. "Lupin, what the hell happened to you?" he said.


	3. Part Three

Lupin yowled in pure surprise, nodding his head frantically. _'Yes! That's right! I'm Lupin! Holy shit, Pops, that's amazing!'_ How had he figured it out? Lupin wouldn't even recognize himself right now.

"Shhh!" said Zenigata, holding a finger in front of his mouth. "No pets, remember? You have to be quiet."

Lupin jumped down from the bed and into Zenigata's lap, putting his front paws on Zenigata's chest. Their noses were almost touching.

' _Pops, you gotta help me out! This old geezer stole the Eye of Bastet before I could, and he used it to turn me into a cat! We have to find him so he can change me back!'_

He could think the words, he knew how to say them, but all that came out of his mouth were a string of frantic meows and chirps - nothing that remotely sounded like human speech.

Zenigata stared back at him, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Are you...trying to talk? Because I have no idea what 'meow, meow, meow' is supposed to mean."

 _'Damn it!'_ Lupin yowled again, this time in exasperation, and dramatically flopped face-down on Zenigata's leg. His tail whipped around violently. _'Damn it, damn it, damn it!'_

Zenigata hesitantly placed a hand on Lupin's head and scratched behind his ears again, which momentarily derailed Lupin's train of thought. He started purring again. It wasn't something he had much, if any, control over, but the rumbling vibrations in his chest were strangely soothing. Slowly, Lupin began to relax, going limp.

So far, head scratches were probably the best thing about being a cat. He growled slightly when Zenigata abruptly stopped stroking him.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, hold your horses. I have an idea." Placing Lupin back on the bed, Zenigata walked around to his suitcase, perched on top of a luggage rack at the foor of the bed. "This whole situation is nuts," he muttered to himself. He pulled out a laptop from one of the compartments and opened it up. " _I'm_ nuts. Too many years of chasing you around."

He placed the laptop next to Lupin and sat down on the edge of the bed. The computer was open to a blank text file.

Lupin turned his head to look up at Zenigata, and unexpectedly had Zenigata's finger pointed in his face, less than an inch away from his nose and whiskers. Lupin had to cross his eyes to look at it.

"You see? When you do something like that, it makes me think I'm not crazy," said Zenigata. Sighing, he turned away from the laptop and slouched over. "Please, just prove to me I'm right and you're really Lupin, not some stray he trained for a big joke at my expense."

' _Jeeze, Pops, it's not...crap, he's right. That_ does _sound like something I'd do_ ,' thought Lupin.

Lupin approached the computer, glancing down at the keyboard. Considering he couldn't speak or hold a pen, right now typing was his only way to communicate. He experimentally pressed down on one key with a paw, then another. His paws were a little too large for the keys, but he managed to peck out a short message.

When he was finished, Lupin sat down next to the laptop and quietly chirped to draw Zenigata's attention.

Zenigata spun around, staring at the laptop's screen. There was now a single line of text in the file.

' HEY THERE POPS ! ! YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE DAY I'VE HAD ... '

* * *

The route Jigen drove once he and Goemon had fled the museum was erratic, full of doubling back and shortcuts down side roads, designed to lose anyone who might be tailing them. He had one stop to make before they returned to the warehouse they'd been using as a hideout for the past week.

The yellow Fiat pulled off the road in front of a small airfield and flashed its lights twice.

A woman dressed in a dark red pea coat, with a floral silk scarf over her auburn hair, appeared from behind the airfield's large sign. She waved to a security guard in a small booth near the parking lot and then blew him a kiss. "Thank you!"

"Anytime, Miss Mine!" called the guard as Jigen got out of the driver's seat to let Fujiko inside the car.

Jigen felt his chest tighten slightly. Lupin wasn't with her. He'd been hoping that somehow they'd be together, even though it wasn't like Lupin to suddenly ditch Jigen and Goemon in the middle of a job.

Fujiko stopped short of the car, taking in Jigen and Goemon in the front seat of the Fiat. "Where's Lupin?" she said, untying the scarf.

Jigen raised the brim of his hat. "No clue."

"We were hoping you might know," said Goemon.

Fujiko shook her head and slipped into the Fiat's small backseat. "I haven't seen him since you three dropped me off at the airfield." She paused a moment. "Did we get the Eye, at least?"

"That'd be a 'no'," said Jigen. He sat back down in the driver's seat.

Fujiko sighed as the car pulled back onto the empty road. "So we have no Eye and no Lupin? You're going to have to fill me in on what happened. I thought this job was supposed to be a piece of cake."

"Some other thief beat us to the Eye," said Jigen. "When we got to where it was supposed to be, it was gone. Looked like the other guy had just taken it. "

"Lupin thought the other thief might still be in the museum, so we decided it would be fastest if we each took a wing of the museum to check," said Goemon. "And when the two of us finished, we could not find Lupin. Just a pile of his clothing."

"Yeah, and then Zenigata showed up, so we had to split."

Fujiko was quiet, looking out the car's window. "I wouldn't be too worried," she said. "Lupin has a way of turning up. Who knows, maybe he beat us back to the hideout."

"Yeah, and he's probably real chilly without his clothes," said Jigen with a smirk.

* * *

Lupin wasn't waiting for them when Jigen drove the Fiat into the warehouse.

Three hours later, Lupin still hadn't returned to their hideout. More worryingly, he hadn't tried to make contact with any of them.

A living area had been haphazardly assembled in the middle of the otherwise empty warehouse. A tiny TV set, laptop, and a set of building plans for the museum were on one table, surrounded by several secondhand sofas. The TV set was tuned to a local news station, the reporter on-screen discussing the theft of the Eye of Bastet.

Jigen could feel Goemon's eyes boring into the back of his skull from the other side of the converted warehouse. He sighed, exhaling a cloud of cigarette smoke, and stretched out on the sofa. "Anything, Fujiko?"

Fujiko shook her head, listening to a police scanner through headphones. "A drunk driver in an '92 BMW just got pulled over on I-87. Nothing I've heard sounds like the police caught Lupin or whoever it was that took the Eye of Bastet."

Jigen ground his cigarette into the ashtray next to the sofa and pulled another one out from his cigarette case. "Where the hell is he?" he grumbled, tilting his head back to rest against the sofa's arm. "It's like he just disappeared."

"Perhaps the thief who stole the Eye stole him as well," Goemon suggested.

"Maybe." Jigen stared at the TV set sullenly, making a face as a photo of the Eye of Bastet appeared on screen. "This whole thing's weird as hell, man."

Jigen took another drag of his cigarette as an uncomfortable silence settled over the three of them again. "I dunno, maybe we should've taken the cat with us," he said. "I guess it's possible it was some kind of strange clue left for us about what happened to Lupin."

Fujiko glanced at Jigen and Goemon in confusion. "Cat? What cat?"

"We found a cat sleeping in Lupin's clothes at the museum," said Goemon. "At the time we found it unusual but not overly suspicious, but with Lupin still missing..."

Jigen sighed, exhaling another wisp of smoke. He tugged the brim of his hat further down his face. "Bastet's a cat goddess in Egyptian mythology, isn't she? Yeah, definitely should've grabbed the cat. Maybe it's still around the museum."

"Right now it's the only lead we have." Fujiko removed the headphones and flipped the scanner off. She stood up, brushing a stary lock of hair out of her face. "Well, looking around the place we tried to rob for a cat that might or might not be a clue about what happened to Lupin isn't how I'd hoped this heist would turn out, but I'm up for it."

Jigen looked over at Goemon. "Lemme guess, you wanna go with her?"

"Yes," said Goemon. "Someone should stay here, in case Lupin comes back while we are gone."

"I'm fine with that," said Jigen, crossing his legs. "You two have fun."

"Let's see, we're going to need disguises," said Fujiko to Goemon, taking him by the arm to drag him over to the corner of the warehouse where they'd set up their extensive collection of wigs, makeup and outfits for disguises. "Oh, and we'll need to think up a cover story, and a different car..."


	4. Part Four

Zenigata sat cross legged on the bed behind Lupin and his laptop, intently watching the words appear on the screen as Lupin slowly typed them out. Lupin attempted to explain what had happened to him as fast as he could while also trying to answer the questions Zenigata kept tossing at him.

' TRIED TO STEAL EYE OF BASTET, BUT EYE HAD JUST BEEN STOLEN BY OLD GUY. FOUND HIM IN GARDEN, TRIED TO TAKE THE EYE FROM HIM, BUT HE USED IT TO TURN ME INTO A CAT. '

"How the hell did he do that?" Zenigata said.

' MAGIC, I GUESS. HE PRESSED THE EYE TO MY HEAD WHILE CHANTING SOMETHING. JIGEN & GOEMON FOUND ME AFTER THAT, BUT DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS ME. THEN YOU CAME IN. '

Zenigata was quiet for a moment. "That's why you tried to jump out the window! You were trying to follow them."

' YUP. ALTHOUGH THINKING ABOUT IT, TRYING TO JUMP FROM THAT HEIGHT PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED OUT TOO WELL FOR ME. I DON'T REALLY WANNA SEE FIRST-HAND IF IT'S TRUE THAT CATS ALWAYS LAND ON THEIR FEET. ' Lupin paused before typing out a question of his own for Zenigata. ' HOW DID YOU FIGURE OUT I WAS THE CAT ?'

Zenigata read Lupin's message and looked down at the comforter, the tips of his ears turning bright red. "Erm. No. It'll sound stupid if I say it out loud."

' C'MON, PLEEEEASE ? ' After he had finished typing, Lupin sat down in front of the inspector and tried to look his most adorable.

After reading Lupin's message, Zenigata rubbed at his temple lightly. "Okay," he finally agreed. "But the only reason I'm telling you this is because of the strange, strange circumstances, got it?"

Lupin meowed. _'Yup!'_

"Good. So after being tricked by your disguises one too many times, I tried to think of a different way to handle it. It took me a while, but what I came up with was that whenever I'm on the scene of wherever it is you're planning to strike, I have to assume that anyone else there is either you or one of your gang in disguise, unless proven otherwise."

' THAT'S PRETTY PARANOID OF YOU, POPS, ' Lupin typed out.

"Maybe, but it's helped me sniff you and your gang out more time than I can count. Now quit distracting me and let me finish," said Zenigata. "Anyway, when I saw you – er, cat-you – there with your clothes, my first thought was that you'd somehow managed to disguise yourself as a cat. It was dumb, but..." Zenigata shrugged, still looking slightly embarrassed. "You seemed to understand what the other officers and I were saying, and you didn't really act like a normal cat. I mean, it sounded impossible, but a lot of the things you manage to pull off are impossible. And you look how I'd expect a cat version of Lupin the Third to look."

That was news to Lupin. ' I DO ? '

"Yeah. Do you wanna see?"

Lupin considered it for a moment, then nodded.

"All right," said Zenigata, picking him up again. He carried Lupin into the bathroom, which had a large, slightly discolored mirror over the chipped sink, and turned on the lights above the mirror.

Bracing himself, Lupin looked at the mirror. Zenigata was holding a very confused looking dark brown cat in his arms, the tail twitching slightly.

_'Huh. So that's really what I look like?'_

Studying his own reflection, Lupin could see a vague resemblance between the human and the cat Lupin, small bits and pieces that had apparently carried over when he'd been transformed. He was still thin and lanky, and his fur was the same color as his hair. The transformation had also left his eyes mostly alone – out of everything else, they were the most recognizably his.

When Lupin tried to smile, the cat's face in the mirror looked almost disturbingly like his human one. Zenigata snorted behind him. "Yeah, you're Lupin all right."

It was exactly the right thing to say to break the tension Lupin had been feeling ever since Zenigata had brought him back to the motel. He meowed at Zenigata, letting him know to bring him back to the bed.

' THANKS, POPS, ' Lupin typed out when he was placed in front of the computer.

"Welcome," said Zenigata, lying down on the bed with his hands behind his head. "So, does the great Lupin the Third have a plan to get back to normal yet? " he said, staring up at the peeling paint on the ceiling. "Although once you're human again, I'll have to cuff you."

' FIND THE ASSHOLE WHO DID THIS TO ME AND MAKE HIM UN-DO IT, PRONTO. OTHER THAN THAT, I GOT NOTHIN'. SORRY, POPS. GUESS ARRESTING ME'S GONNA HAVE TO WAIT. '

When Zenigata didn't reply, Lupin turned around. Zenigata's eyes were unfocused and half-shut. As Lupin watched, they jerked open, only to sag a moment later. Zenigata sighed, wiping at his eyes.

Considering Zenigata had flown from Tokyo to New York City and then gone straight to the museum to foil his heist, Lupin was surprised Zenigata had managed to stay awake as long as he had. Jet lag and exhaustion weren't a pretty combination.

' YOU SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP, OLD MAN. '

Zenigata shook his head, glowering at Lupin. "Justice never sleeps," he said listlessly.

' OH YEAH? JUSTICE LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA PASS OUT SOON IF IT DOESN'T GET SOME SHUTEYE. '

"Hhmm," hummed Zenigata, his eyes drooping as he read the message. A moment later he was fast asleep on top of the bed's comforter, still dressed in his brown suit. His arms and legs were awkwardly splayed across the bed, and he hadn't even bothered to kick off his shoes.

_'Well, that looks uncomfortable.'_

Lupin lightly jumped up onto Zenigata's pillow, staring at Zenigata's face for a moment. He gently batted at Zenigata's nose with a paw. Zenigata briefly wrinkled his face, but that was it. He was out cold.

Lupin sat next to Zenigata's head, tail flicking slightly as he considered what to do next. He'd hoped to get a message out to Jigen, Goemon and Fujiko and at least let them know he wasn't bleeding out in a ditch somewhere, but at the moment he had no way of contacting them. There was no wireless internet in the motel for Zenigata's laptop to connect to, and if there had been a landline in the motel room at one point, it had gone missing long ago. Zenigata's cell was an absolutely ancient flip-phone that was decidedly not cat-friendly, even assuming he could lift the phone from the inner pocket of Zenigata's jacket and get it open.

He was too tired to try, anyway. It'd have to wait until morning.

_'Sorry, guys. Hope you aren't too worried.'_

Lupin sighed, stretching out on the bed. He unconsciously kneaded the comforter with his front paws before curling up next to Zenigata on the bed.

It wasn't exactly a secret that Zenigata wanted to toss Lupin into prison. Lupin had assumed that if Zenigata had even suspected that the brown cat at the crime scene was actually Lupin, he would've slapped him with a cat-sized pair of handcuffs on the spot while celebrating that he'd finally caught Lupin the Third, even if he'd happened to be a cat at the time.

But Zenigata hadn't done anything like that, even though he'd apparently realized that the cat he'd found at the museum was Lupin almost immediately.

Lupin rested his head down on his paws and closed his eyes. Something else he'd figure out tomorrow.

* * *

Lupin still hadn't returned to their hideout when Goemon and Fujiko had come back from the museum several hours later. Their hastily constructed cover story had been that the two of them were newlyweds, Margot and Sam, who lived nearby, and their cat Felix (the name had been Jigen's sole contribution to their cover) had slipped out of their house when they'd opened the front door after getting home from work.

"The place was still swarming with cops," said Fujiko crossly, storming into the warehouse. "They wouldn't let us inside until the museum opens at 10, but once we said we were just looking for our lost cat, they got a little bit more chatty." She was still wearing the long blonde wig she'd used to disguise herself, although she'd removed the tinted contacts.

"We did not find any trace of Lupin or the cat," said Goemon, who had already taken off his disguise inside the silver Porsche Fujiko had 'borrowed'. "I spoke with one of the officers there, and they said a cat had been at the scene but it was taken by one of the other officers, He advised that we should go down to the police station in the morning to speak with them."

Fujiko frowned, unpinning the wig from the thin wig cap she was wearing over her hair. "I take it you haven't heard anything from Lupin?" she said to Jigen.

"Not a peep." He'd had his cell phone set up to vibrate and ring as loud as it could if it'd received a call or message, and it hadn't gone off at all while they'd been out. He had turned the TV set off after Goemon and Fujiko had left. The local news channel ran on a loop this late, repeating the same few stories over and over. He didn't want to watch the same segment on the theft of the Eye of Bastet again. At this point, it felt like rubbing salt into an open wound.

Fujiko placed the wig back onto the wig stand, idly combing her fingers through the long blonde hair while Goemon sat down cross-legged on one of the sofas, resting his sword against his shoulder.

"Do you think Lupin's OK, wherever he is?" said Fujiko, taking the last empty sofa.

In one motion, Goemon removed Zantetsuken from its sheath. He squinted at the blade, looking at the light reflecting off the edge. "There is no shadow on my sword. I do not believe he is in mortal danger."

"Guess that'll have to be enough for now," said Jigen with a sigh, stubbing out his cigarette.


	5. Part Five

The Eye of Bastet winked at Lupin in the lights of the warehouse hideout, sitting on the table next to the TV set. It was the second-most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, behind the woman next to him.

"Fujiko," breathed Lupin, burying his face against her neck. He lightly kissed it, only pausing when he didn't feel Fujiko respond. "Fujiko?"

"Oh Lupin, what are you doing?" said Fujiko, pulling away from him. She scratched underneath his chin, her long manicured fingernails raking over his stubble. "What a silly kitty."

"What? I'm no-" Lupin looked up as Jigen entered the warehouse with several large plastic grocery bags and a small paper one. "Jigen! I'm kind of in the middle of something here..."

"Hey, Lupin. I got you this while I was out," said Jigen, not paying attention to what Lupin had said. He pulled a small catnip mouse toy out of the paper bag and tossed it onto the sofa next to Lupin and Fujiko. "Just don't go too hard on it, man. You know how much that stuff affects you."

"Jigen, is this supposed to be a joke?"

"Did you get the fillet mignon?" said Fujiko to Jigen. She stood up and walked with Jigen to the back of the warehouse, where the fridge and small kitchenette was.

"Cost an arm and a leg, but yeah. Figured tonight's a good time to splurge," said Jigen. "Also picked up some genuine Kobe beef to make Goemon happy."

Lupin let out a pitiful whine. "Wait Fujicakes, come back..."

Jigen and Fujiko continued their conversation, not paying any attention to him. Goemon entered the warehouse carrying a large wooden scratching post.

Lupin loudly groaned, covering his eyes with one hand. "Oh man. Not you too, Goemon."

"A responsible pet owner always makes sure their cat has something to play with, unless they want all their furniture destroyed," said Goemon solemnly, placing the post down in front of Lupin.

Lupin stared at the scratching post, resting his chin on his hand. "I don't get you sometimes, Goemon. I really don't."

But Goemon had already turned away from him, joining Fujiko and Jigen in the kitchenette.

"Guys!" said Lupin. He might as well have said nothing for all the good it did him. "Hello? Am I talking to myself over here?"

"It's no fun when nobody listens to you, is it?" said Zenigata behind Lupin.

Lupin started, not expecting Zenigata to pop up in their hideout. He glanced over at the kitchenette, only to find the other three had suddenly vanished. "Pops? How'd you find us?"

"Relax, I'm not here to arrest you," said Zenigata with a slight chuckle. "For once." Pushing aside the catnip mouse Jigen had left, he sat down next to Lupin.

"Pops, I have no friggin' idea what's going on. I mean, the others are treating me like I'm a housecat, and you don't want to toss me into jail even though I'm literally sitting right in front of the emerald I just stole?"

"That's not how it actually happened," said Zenigata, reaching into the pocket of his jacket. He pulled out a cigarette and his lighter. "You weren't the one who took the emerald."

"Yes, I did," insisted Lupin as Zenigata lit the cigarette. "I stole the Eye of Bastet from the museum, just like I said I would. And absolutely nothing went wrong. Nothing."

Zenigata snorted. "I'm just a figment of your subconscious mind and even I know you're full of it, Lupin. You get points for trying, though." He took a drag from the cigarette.

Lupin slid down the sofa and sighed. "Jeeze, can't you just humor me a little?"

"Sorry," said Zenigata. "Guess you don't think tact is one of Zenigata's strong points." He held out the cigarette to Lupin.

"That's true," said Lupin, taking the offered cigarette. "Thanks."

The hand holding the cigarette abruptly changed into a cat's paw before turning back again.

Lupin sighed. "This is one seriously messed-up dream," he said, wiggling his human fingers. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering what happened tonight, but, y'know..." He tilted his head back and blew a smoke ring.

Zenigata nodded, but didn't say anything.

* * *

Lupin woke up to the real Zenigata absently stroking his back. It took him a moment to remember exactly why he was on a strange bed, next to what appeared to a gigantic Zenigata, but then he glanced down and hissed quietly at the sight of his furry paws.

Some part of him had been hoping that, somehow, he'd wake up human again, but he was still a cat.

Zenigata's hand lifted off his back. "Hm? Oh, you're awake." Zenigata had apparently shaved and dressed in a clean suit while Lupin had been sleeping. He had been looking through a newspaper, and he placed the paper in front of Lupin before he stood up.

The theft of the Eye of Bastet was the front page headline, above a blurry black-and-white photograph of the older thief who had turned Lupin into a cat cutting a hole into the Eye's glass case with a small acetylene torch.

"That's the guy who did this to you?" said Zenigata.

Lupin nodded with a quiet growl.

"I just got a positive ID on him. His name's Nelson McNally. He's a thief that specializes in stealing ancient Egyptian artifacts. This guy's lived his entire life off the grid, and he's almost as difficult to track down as you."

' _You have to find him, Pops!'_ Lupin yowled, pawing at McNally's picture before looking up at the inspector.

Zenigata sighed, scratching at his hair. It didn't take a genius to figure out what Lupin was trying to say. "We're doing our best to locate him, Lupin. The local police have roadblocks up all over town, and as far as we can tell, he hasn't left the area yet."

' _Not good enough!'_ Lupin looked around for Zenigata's laptop, only to see it turned off and charging on the room's desk. Lupin huffed and sat down on the bedspread, his tail whipping around.

"I told my superiors at Interpol that McNally was under investigation in the Lupin case since it seemed likely the two of you were working together to steal the Eye of Bastet," said Zenigata. "So finding him just became my top priority."

Lupin looked at Zenigata in surprise and then tilted his head slyly. He meowed again. ' _I'm impressed, Pops. You lied to Interpol?'_

Zenigata turned beet red, once again correctly guessing what Lupin had said. "Well, er, that wasn't a lie, exactly. I just...withheld some information."

Lupin inwardly chuckled and then meowed, trying his best to smirk. _'Sure, Pops.'_

"Shut up." Zenigata placed the evidence box on the bed next to the cat. "We're going to find this guy, Lupin, and we'll get him to turn you back. But since I don't exactly have a cat carrier, we're gonna have to make do with this."

Lupin glanced at the box with visible dismay, his ears going flat against his head. ' _Crap, not the box again...'_


	6. Chapter 6

_Back in The Box again'_ , thought Lupin glumly, sitting on top of Zenigata's folded trench coat. He heard Zenigata lock the door to his room and then slip the key into the pocket of his jacket.

Zenigata and Lupin passed by the front desk of the lobby, this time staffed by a bored older woman checking her phone. The TV set on the counter was turned off, but another guest was using the telephone, standing with their back to Lupin and Zenigata.

"Yes, how soon can your car be here? I need to catch the 10:05 train to the city."

Inside the evidence box, Lupin froze. He peered through the handle opening to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

McNally had gotten his hands on a box of brown hair dye, shaved off his beard, and was wearing an oversized t-shirt and a baseball hat instead of the hooded coat, but Lupin would recognize him no matter what half-hearted attempts he made to disguise himself.

' _So he and Pops were staying at the same fleabag motel. What are the odds?'_

But Zenigata didn't seem to notice McNally literally standing six feet away from him, instead heading for the door to the motel's parking lot.

' _Seriously, he's right there! Zenigata, look! Look look look!'_ Lupin let out a quiet meow to draw Zenigata's attention, but, other than a tightening of Zenigata's jaw, he didn't react.

Lupin saw his chances of becoming human again rapidly dwindle the closer Zenigata got to the door.

 _'Screw it.'_ Lupin let out a loud howl, tearing up the sides of the evidence box. He burst out of Zenigata's box like a screaming demon, running towards McNally.

"There are no pets allowed in this motel, mister!" said the clerk, standing up.

"Lupin! What the he-" shouted Zenigata. He glanced up at McNally and loudly gasped, recognizing him almost instantly. He dropped the box, several pairs of handcuffs in both hands in a flash. "Interpol! You're under arrest, McNally!"

McNally turned sheet-white and threw the phone at Lupin and Zenigata, ripping its cord out of the wall. Lupin dodged it and then launched himself at McNally's pallid face, his claws out.

' _Hey, McNally! Remember me? I remember you!'_

McNally yelled as Lupin's claws slashed his skin. Scowling, he grabbed the cat by the scruff of his neck and pulled him off, holding the flailing cat as far away from his body as possible. "You miserable little brat!" He threw Lupin as hard as he could towards the nearest wall.

Lupin had just enough time to gulp and squeeze his eyes shut.

He did hit something, knocking the wind out of him, but it was a lot softer than the wall would've been.

Lupin opened his eyes, seeing a flash of a familiar brown suit jacket. ' _Pops?'_

Inspector Zenigata had caught him, using his body to try to cushion Lupin's impact.

The bell over the motel's door rang as McNally dashed out into the parking lot.

"You okay, Lupin?" said Zenigata.

Lupin enthusiastically nodded and then leapt out of Zenigata's arms with an energetic yowl, padding to the motel's door. _'Let's go! He's getting away!'_

Zenigata opened the door, allowing Lupin to run out, and then followed. "McNally, stop!"

McNally had almost reached the road when Lupin and Zenigata caught up to him. Zenigata threw his handcuffs at McNally's feet, and the cuffs snapped closed around both of McNally's ankles. With a startled shout, McNally began to windmill his arms, losing his balance.

Zenigata lunged at McNally's back, tackling him to the pavement in a sprawl of limbs. "Oh no, you don't! Nelson McNally, you are under arres-"

McNally sharply elbowed Zenigata in the face, hard enough for Zenigata's head to snap back, the handcuffs falling from his hands.

Lupin caught a flash of glowing emerald green in McNally's other hand. He was going to use the Eye of Bastet on Zenigata!

' _Zenigata, look out!'_ Lupin screeched in warning. But Nelson was already speaking the words to the spell, the Eye of Bastet less than an inch away from Zenigata's head. An eerie green light was glowing at the center of the Eye, growing brighter by the second.

' _Pops!'_

Lupin leapt at McNally, sinking his teeth and claws into McNally's hand deep enough to draw blood. McNally let out a raw scream, dropping the Eye to the asphalt.

Quickly recovering, Zenigata forced McNally down, sitting on his back. "As I was saying: you're under arrest, Nelson McNally, for the theft of the Eye of Bastet!" He snapped the handcuffs around both of McNally's wrists, his eyes widening when he saw the wound Lupin had made on McNally's right wrist.

McNally was staring down at the Eye lying on the ground, less than a foot away from his face. "No, no, no! Look! You've ruined it."

Lupin looked at the emerald. A large crack now ran down the center of the Eye of Bastet. The green light inside the Eye sputtered and went out.

"It's powerless now," said McNally wearily. He went limp, all the fight draining out of him. "Worthless."

' _No...'_ Lupin's chest felt tight, like someone was squeezing the air of of his lungs.

"You bastard," said Zenigata, grabbing McNally by the collar of his t-shirt. "You mean you can't undo the spell you put on Lupin?"

McNally shook his head slowly.

' _I'm stuck like this?!'_ Lupin bared his teeth and hissed, letting his displeasure be known. McNally flinched.

A police car rolled to a stop in front of the motel. Officer Ashford stuck his head out of the window, staring at Zenigata straddling a handcuffed man while an angry cat yowled in the man's face. "Inspector Zenigata? What's going on?"

Zenigata glanced at the watch on his wrist. "Eight o'clock - right on time, Ashford." Zenigata hoisted McNally up to his feet. "This charming fellow is Nelson McNally, the thief who stole the Eye of Bastet last night. He's going down to the station with us."

* * *

Zenigata sighed, staring at the laptop's screen in front of him. The police station had an empty office they'd put Zenigata in to work on his preliminary report to Interpol. Elsewhere in the station, officers were interviewing McNally in one of the interrogation rooms. Who knew what McNally was telling them.

Chasing Lupin all over the world was exciting, if tiring, work, but typing up the reports afterwards was almost always excruciatingly dull. This one had the added wrinkle of how much information to divulge regarding what had happened to Lupin. Zenigata usually prided himself on being honest in his reports back to Interpol, no matter how incompetent it made him look to have Lupin constantly trick him and slip through his fingers. If he told the truth on this one ("Stolen item in question turned suspect, A. Lupin III, into a cat.") and submitted it to Interpol, he'd be placed on leave so fast it'd make his head spin.

The thief in question was curled up in the evidence box on the floor next to the desk, lying on top of Zenigata's trench coat. He'd been like that since they'd been driven over to the station. After what had happened to the Eye of Bastet, Zenigata had wanted to give him some space, but Lupin hadn't moved from the box in the past three hours.

Zenigata sighed. It was impossible for him to focus on his work, not when Lupin was so obviously miserable.

"Lupin," said Zenigata.

One of the cat's ears twitched, but other than that he remained motionless.

Zenigata sighed, turning away from the laptop. "I know this seems terrible - and it is, I'm not saying it isn't - but there are worse things he could've turned you into. Like a...a snake, or a beetle or an octopus," he said. "Being a cat isn't so bad in comparison, right?"

Lupin didn't move.

Zenigata stood up from his chair. He crouched down next to the box and gently lifted the cat out. Lupin didn't flail at him in anger for being removed from his sulking spot, but he refused to meet Zenigata's eyes, staring down at the ground.

Zenigata put Lupin on the desk, sitting back down on the swivel chair. Lupin curled up into a ball again, his head facing away from Zenigata.

He tried not to let it show, but this sudden passivity of Lupin's was starting to frighten him. Lupin, even an upset or despairing Lupin, was always animated and dynamic. That was partially why Zenigata had been able to tell the cat was Lupin. If Zenigata had first seen Lupin acting like this at the museum, Zenigata would've thought he was just an ordinary housecat. "Lupin, is there anything you want me to do? If you give me a way of contacting them, I could get in touch with Jigen and the others," he offered.

There was a moment where Zenigata was sure Lupin would continue to ignore him, but the cat slowly shook his head.

"But...won't they be looking for you?" said Zenigata in confusion. "As far as they know, you up and vanished on them."

Lupin gave the feline equivalent of a lazy shrug, like he didn't care at all.

Zenigata gaped at Lupin in shock for a moment. "You're being an asshole, Lupin. Bet they're all worried sick about you." He felt himself grow angry with Lupin on the other thieves' behalf. It was all too easy to slot himself into their place, not knowing what had happened to Lupin after he'd seemingly disappeared into thin air. "Do you know what I'd give for friends who cared about me as much as those three care about you? I've got the people at Interpol, who think I'm halfway to a nervous breakdown, and that's it." Zenigata felt tears of frustration come to his eyes, and he tried his best to blink them away. This wasn't about him or his feelings. If Lupin wanted to be a dick to his friends, he was more than welcome to do so.

' _You're a little too emotionally invested in the personal life of the thief you've dedicated your life to arresting_ ,' said a little voice in the back of Zenigata's head.

Frowning, Zenigata returned his attention to his laptop. He attempted to surreptitiously wipe at his eyes and sighed, staring at the words on his laptop's screen without really reading them.

Lupin sat up on the desk and meowed. When Zenigata turned to look at him, Lupin leapt from the desk down into Zenigata's lap.

"Lupin?"

Sitting on his lap, Lupin rubbed his cheek against Zenigata's chest, quietly purring. He let out a sad chirp, and then looked up at Zenigata meaningfully, looking slightly hurt.

Zenigata was baffled by what Lupin was trying to tell him until he mentally replayed what he'd said only a few minutes earlier: " _Do you know what I'd give for friends who cared about me as much as those three care about you?"_

Zenigata placed a hand on Lupin's head. "I see. You care about me too, huh?" he said.

Lupin nodded. The cat gave him a wry look, like he was saying, _'Duh. Isn't it obvious, Pops?'_

"All right, I can admit when I'm wrong." He grinned, gathering Lupin up in his arms. "Thanks, Lupin. You saved my ass back there."

Lupin purred louder, resting his chin against Zenigata's chest.

The phone rung on the desk, startling both of them. Zenigata picked it up, cradling the handset between his ear and shoulder. "Zenigata here."

"Inspector, there are a few people out front asking about the cat we found at the museum," said Ashford. "They say it belongs to them."

"Is it a woman and two men?" said Zenigata.

"Uh, yeah, actually. How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess." Zenigata glanced down at Lupin, covering the microphone with his hand. "It's your gang. Do you wanna see them?"

The cat considered it for a moment, looking conflicted, and then nodded.

"Send 'em back to me," said Zenigata into the phone. "I'll handle it."


	7. Part Seven

"Of course Zenigata has the cat," murmered Fujiko to Jigen and Goemon in Japanese, pinching the bridge of her nose. The three of them, in disguise, were in a waiting area inside the police station while an officer spoke to Inspector Zenigata over the phone.

"Should we even bother sticking around?" said Jigen, dressed in a white business suit. The temporary hair dye he'd brushed into his dark hair and beard had turned it red, and he chewed on the end of a toothpick instead of a cigarette. "He's gonna know who we are as soon as he lays eyes on us."

"Jigen, what you're wearing barely qualifies as a disguise," said Fujiko, crossing her arms. "At least take off that hat."

"No." Jigen pulled the brim of his white hat down over his eyes in defiance. Even though he couldn't see her, he knew she was rolling her eyes at him.

Before they'd left for the police station, the three of them had agreed that there wasn't any point in one of them waiting for Lupin back at the warehouse any longer. If Lupin was going to show up at the hideout at all, he would've been there by now. Jigen had prepared his own disguise and cover story to accompany Fujiko and Goemon: he was the older brother of Fujiko's 'Margot', visiting his sister from out of town for the weekend.

After the officer had very patiently listened to 'Margot' explain that her cat had gotten into the museum last night, he had smiled at her. "I think our visiting Interpol agent has your cat, ma'am. Rest assured, he's taken very good care of it."

'Margot' had batted her eyes at the officer, even though her supposed husband was standing right beside her. "Oh, I'm so glad!"

More small talk with the officer had revealed that the actual thief who had stolen the Eye of Bastet had been caught by the Interpol agent and was being taken to the local hospital for a psychological evaluation. The Eye of Bastet had been recovered during the thief's arrest, and was being kept in the station as evidence. It hadn't been announced to the public yet, but Fujiko was very good at getting information out of people without them realizing it. She'd even talked the officer into letting the three of them see the evidence locker where the bag of Lupin's belongings and the Eye of Bastet itself were being held. Both items were now hidden beneath a false bottom in Fujiko's large purse.

Even though they finally had the Eye of Bastet in their possession, Jigen didn't feel any rush of excitement or victory. From the gloomy looks on Goemon and Fujiko's faces, they also didn't seem very excited about the giant emerald either, not with Lupin still missing.

If this turned out to be nothing more than Lupin faking his death (yet again), Jigen was going to be extremely pissed.

The officer hung up the phone. "The Inspector's available to see you. Come with me, please."

The policeman lled them to a large office in the administration area of the police station. He knocked on the door. "Inspector? I have the people here about the cat."

Standing behind the officer, Fujiko, Goemon and Jigen glanced at each other silently. If their cover was blown while they were surrounded by police, fighting their way out would be a struggle.

Inspector Zenigata opened the office door. The dark brown cat from the museum was standing next to him, looking up at the others.

"Felix!" sobbed Fujiko. Tears ran down her cheeks.

Jigen had to stop himself from covering his face with his hand in sheer exasperation. _'Jeeze, Fujiko. Laying it on a little thick, aren't you?'_

The cat gave a pleased meow and ran towards her. Fujiko knelt down to the floor, and the cat practically leaped into her arms. Fujiko stroked the cat's head. "Oh, my dear little Felix, I was so worried about you." She pressed the cat to her ample chest, which the cat didn't seem to mind at all. "You're such a bad kitty, running away like that."

Jigen frowned slightly. The blissed-out expression on the cat's face looked oddly familiar...

Inspector Zenigata took a step towards Fujiko, both hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Inspector Zenigata with Interpol. So that's your cat, miss?"

Fujiko nodded, standing up with the cat in her arm. "Yes, Inspector. His name's Felix. He got out of the house last evening and we've been looking for him all night."

"They live near the museum, sir," said the police officer. "That must be how it got into the museum's statue garden during the robbery."

Zenigata nodded. "Thanks, Ashford. I need to get some information from them," he said to the officer. "You three, come inside," said Zenigata, jerking his head towards the office.

"Sure thing, Inspector," said Fujiko cheerily, carrying the cat. Goemon and Jigen followed her inside.

"Take a seat," said Zenigata, gesturing at the chairs in front of the large desk as he closed the door. Once Fujiko had sat down, the cat had melted like butter in her lap, purring loudly.

Zenigata walked behind the desk, not sitting down. He sighed, and then rubbed at his temple. "I don't really know how to explain this without sounding like I've lost my marbles."

"Explain what?" said Fujiko, the picture of innocence. "You found my Felix at the museum - that's not very hard to explain."

Zenigata leveled an unimpressed look at her. "Fujiko, pretend for a little while that I'm at least semi-competent at my job," he said. "And put the cat down, I know for a fact he doesn't belong to you."

Fujiko pouted, but placed the cat on the desk. "All right, Zenigata," she said, sitting up straighter.

"Lupin's missing, isn't he?" said Zenigata after a terse moment of silence. "He never met up with you three after you left the museum last night."

"Yes, that is correct," said Goemon. "But how would you know that?"

"It's because of Nelson McNally - he's the thief who stole the Eye of Bastet," said Zenigata slowly, pulling nervously at the brim of his hat. "McNally used the Eye to...do something to Lupin at the museum."

"What on Earth are you talking about, Zenigata?" said Fujiko, her temper wearing thin. She let out a sigh as her expression softened into genuine worry. "Do you know what happened to Lupin? Is he okay?"

Jigen looked over at Zenigata, just in time to see Zenigata exchange glances with the cat.

The pieces fell into place.

Jigen suddenly burst out laughing, nearly falling off the rickety wooden chair. Fujiko and Goemon stared at him like he'd just grown a second head.

"It's Lupin!" Jigen wheezed, tears streaming down his face. He pointed at the cat. "The goddamn cat's Lupin!"

* * *

' _Well, jeeze, Jigen, you don't have to sound so torn up about it_ ', thought Lupin sardonically. He jumped off the desk and into Jigen's lap, sitting down and staring up at him while Jigen tried to catch his breath.

Jigen wiped at his eyes before placing a hand on Lupin's head. "Sorry, man. It is good to see you again."

Lupin gave a pleased chirp, quietly purring. _'You too.'_

"Is that true?" said Fujiko to Zenigata, her voice wavering slightly. "That cat is Lupin?"

Zenigata gave a heavy sigh. "Yeah."

"But you arrested the thief and recovered the Eye of Bastet," said Goemon. "If he turned Lupin into a cat, can you not get him to reverse the spell?"

Lupin's ears drooped. _'I friggin' wish...'_

Zenigata looked as crestfallen as Lupin himself felt. "The Eye was cracked while we were trying to catch him," he said. "McNally said it doesn't have the power to turn him back anymore."

"But there has to be another way," said Fujiko. "Even if we can't use the Eye."

"If you've got any suggestions, I'm all ears," said Zenigata. "I want him back to normal just as much as you three do. I can't arrest a cat."

Fujiko thought for a moment, absently tapping her fingers against the chair's arm. "Well, the Eye cursed him, right? It turned him from a man into an animal."

"That's right," said Zenigata. "What's your point?"

"And in fairy tales, what typically breaks curses like that?" said Fujiko.

There was a moment of silence in the room. "Are you seriously suggesting that 'True Love's Friggin' Kiss' will turn Lupin back to normal?" said Jigen.

"Hey, I don't hear you coming up with anything better," said Fujiko hotly, glaring daggers at Jigen. "If a kiss can turn a frog into a prince, why not give it a try?"

"Yeah, except originally it wasn't a kiss that did it. The princess threw the frog against a wall and killed him," said Jigen. " _That_ was what turned him back into a prince."

Lupin shuddered, remembering to a furious McNally hurling him towards the wall of the motel's lobby only a few hours ago. _'Nope, not doing that again.'_

"In less than a minute, we went from considering kissing to murder as possible methods to undo the spell," Goemon said dryly.

"Hey, I'm not suggesting we try to kill Lupin!" said Jigen. "I'm just sayin' that in this situation, fairy tales probably aren't the most reliable things to go by here!"

"And the Eye of Bastet's an ancient Egyptian artifact," Zenigata pointed out. "It predates the Brothers Grimm by at least a thousand years."

Fujiko shrugged. "Almost every culture on Earth has their own version of Cinderella, including Egypt. I'd be willing to give it a go. Lupin's pretty cute as a cat, but he's even cuter as a man."

Lupin sprung out of Jigen's lap and bounded for Fujiko, jumping up onto the desk in front of her. He grinned widely. ' _Ready, Fujicakes!'_

Fujiko leaned over and kissed Lupin's forehead. Loudly purring, Lupin flopped over onto his side.

The other three watched expectantly for any change in Lupin. He remained a purring cat.

"So, exactly how long is this supposed to take?" said Jigen to Fujiko.

"How should I know?" said Fujiko, wiping at her lips with the back of her hand. "Eugh, cat hair."

After a minute or two had passed, Lupin shook his head and sat up. He let out a disappointed chirp, staring down at his paws and tail. ' _Crap, still small and furry. That kiss was almost worth it, though.'_

"It didn't work," said Zenigata dejectedly, his voice cracking slightly on the last word. He looked close to tears.

Fujiko glanced at him. "Why don't you try, Zenigata?" she suggested.

Zenigata stared at her in utter disbelief. "Seriously, Fujiko? I've dedicated my life to putting Lupin behind bars. Exactly how could that be considered 'true love'?"

"You were the first to realize Lupin was the cat," Goemon pointed out. "Perhaps that is the one who has to give him the kiss."

"Well, er, if Fujiko's kiss didn't work, I really don't think mine would do anything either," said Zenigata, his cheeks turning bright red. "And that's assuming a kiss could turn him back..."

"You could at least try?" said Fujiko. "The worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't do anything, in which case you'll be in excellent company."

Lupin strode over to the other side of the desk and sat down in front of Zenigata, looking up at him. He meowed.

' _Hey, I'm game if you are, Pops.'_

Zenigata approached Lupin, awkwardly taking off his hat. He gave a slightly embarrassed smile to Lupin, and then pressed a quick kiss to his forehead.

The effect was nearly instantaneous. One moment, Lupin was a cat, and the next he was human again, one knee coming close to nailing Zenigata in the eye. Lupin was also very naked, but he didn't care. Ten fingers, ten toes, no tail or whiskers!

Zenigata dropped his hat and jumped a foot into the air, not expecting the sudden change from cat to man or to abruptly have Lupin's dick only inches away from his face. "Gah! What the hell?!"

"Pops! Pops, you did it!" Jumping off the desk, Lupin threw his arms around Zenigata and hugged him tightly. He spun a flustered Zenigata around the small office, nearly knocking over Zenigata's chair. "You turned me back!"

"I don't...How...I'm..." Zenigata tried to say, his face somehow turning even redder. "Lupin, you're not wearing any clothes?"

"So what?!" Lupin let out a manic laugh and repeatedly kissed Zenigata's cheek. "Pops, I love you!" he said, and then pressed his lips to Zenigata's.

The older man let out a low moan, his eyes rolling back, and then he went limp in Lupin's arms. Lupin slowly let go of Zenigata, who nearly collapsed in a boneless heap on the floor.

"Jeeze Lupin, what the hell did you dose Pops with?" said Jigen.

"Nothing!" protested Lupin, looking down at Zenigata in concern. "I was a cat less than two minutes ago! Exactly where do you think I could've hidden knockout drugs?!"

"He's not having a heart attack, is he?" said Fujiko. She reached into her purse and pulled out the bag of Lupin's clothes she'd stolen from the evidence locker, sliding it across the desk to Lupin. "I've seen boiled lobsters who were less red than he is right now."

Tucking the bag under his arm, Lupin pressed two fingers against Zenigata's neck and shook his head. "I think he just fainted. The poor guy hasn't been shown any love in so long, his brain didn't know how to handle it."

"Er...I..." mumbled Zenigata from the floor, still dazed. "...Arrest?"

"We should leave while Zenigata appears to be incapacitated," said Goemon, standing up.

"Sounds like a plan," said Jigen.

Lupin tore open the plastic evidence bag and yanked his clothes and shoes out. As fun as it was to think about the chaos that would erupt if he tried to escape a police station stark naked, sometimes the more subtle, fully clothed, approach was best.

"After you, lady and gents!" said Lupin with a cheeky grin. By the time Zenigata came back to his senses, the four of them would be long gone.

Lupin tried to ignore the slight twinge of disappointment that accompanied that thought.


	8. Chapter 8

Hours and hours later, Zenigata returned to the empty motel room, removing his shoes by the door out of habit. His trench coat was slung over one arm, covered in dark-brown cat hairs. He'd tried using loops of tape at the station to remove the cat hairs Lupin had left on it, but they seemed to be glued to the fabric. He'd have to see about getting it professionally cleaned.

As Zenigata hung up his coat and took off his suit jacket and tie, he glanced at the bed. Part of him wanted to collapse on top of the covers and sleep for a week. It felt like days had passed since he'd left the room in the morning with Lupin.

He'd had a very exhausting day.

By the time he'd picked himself off the floor in his temporary office at the police station (and wasn't that embarrassing, to be taken out by nothing more than just one kiss), Lupin and his gang had fled. After scouring the station for any sign of them or where they'd gone, he'd headed straight to the evidence locker. He had a bad feeling about what he'd find there.

There were times he hated being right.

The Eye of Bastet currently sitting in the evidence locker was a fake. Zenigata wasn't sure how exactly they'd done it, but Lupin's gang had managed to swap out the actual emerald with a near-perfect replica. He'd gone over the security footage frame-by-frame and still hadn't been able to pinpoint when Fujiko had done the switch. The fake Eye was only missing the large crack in the center from being dropped, which Fujiko and the others hadn't known about at the time. If they'd replaced the Eye with the replica while it had still been at the museum, like they'd been planning to do, it probably would've taken weeks of testing to prove it was not the real gemstone.

Zenigata sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed, bringing his hands together over his face.

He hated keeping secrets. He hadn't told anyone at the police station about the Lupin gang's visit in disguise or the Eye of Bastet being swapped for a fake, although he would have to, sooner or later. Once the officers took the Eye out for a closer look and realized it was a fake, the already flimsy cover story Lupin's gang had managed to cobble together would rapidly unravel, leaving him exposed. His conscience wouldn't allow him to cover for a group of criminals. He was not a crooked cop.

"Dammit, Lupin. Why'd you have to take the Eye?" said Zenigata to himself.

"Hey, don't blame me. That was all Fujiko."

"Gah!" Zenigata said, springing up to his feet. "Lupin! Where the hell did you come from?"

Lupin smirked, straddling the writing desk's chair, his chin resting on top of the chair. He switched on the small lamp next to the desk. "I've been here for a while, Pops."

"You're under arre..." Zenigata stopped, sighed and then sat back down on the bed. "Why are you here, Lupin? Come to gloat?"

"Nah. I got you something," said Lupin. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a velvet pouch with something very heavy inside. "Here." He held it out to Zenigata.

Zenigata eyes the pouch warily, taking it from Lupin. Loosening the drawstring of the bag, he pulled out a very large emerald.

His heart sank as he held it up to the light. It was a fake. Lupin was trying to pass off yet another imitation as the real Eye of Bastet.

"You didn't do a very good job copying the Eye of Bastet," said Zenigata tiredly, rolling the emerald in his palm. It felt about as heavy as the real Eye. While he wasn't an expert in precious gems, this emerald had one very obvious flaw. "It doesn't even have the crack in the middle. Usually your copies look much better."

"That's because it's the fake one Fujiko left this morning," said Lupin.

Zenigata froze. That wasn't the answer he'd been expecting. "Then where's the real one?"

"Back in the evidence locker at the police station, like it never even left."

Zenigata looked up from the fake Eye to Lupin in surprise. "You...returned the Eye of Bastet? Why?" They'd gotten away with the gigantic emerald and left Zenigata holding the bag, as per usual. They could've just kept the damn thing. Quite honestly, Zenigata would be happy to never see the Eye of Bastet for the rest of his life, but as long as the threat of theft was involved, he had an obligation to make sure it was given back to its rightful owners.

"I talked to the others and decided we didn't really feel comfortable keeping it, even if its magic is gone," said Lupin with a carefully nonchalant shrug. "Also, it's not worth nearly as much with that huge crack running through it. You can ask the museum curator to verify it's the real one if you don't believe me."

Zenigata snorted, staring back down at the emerald.

Lupin was a conman and an expert thief. Lying was one of his most treasured skills in his bag of tricks. Logically, there was very little reason to think Lupin was telling him the truth. But Zenigata also knew Lupin, and his intuition was telling him that Lupin was being sincere.

"I believe you," said Zenigata, letting the fake Eye of Bastet fall out of his palm and back into the pouch.

"And I also wanted to see you again before we left town," said Lupin. He gave Zenigata a toothy grin, and Zenigata knew exactly what he was referring to.

"Don't," said Zenigata warningly.

"C'mon, Pops. You didn't think I was going to just leave it like that?"

"Does it really matter what I think?" Zenigata shot back, his face starting to burn red again.

Lupin gave him a look of what appeared to be genuine hurt, like Zenigata had slapped his face. "Of course it does," he said. "You didn't like the kiss? That's a surprise to me. I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything but I don't usually reduce people to jelly _that_ fast."

"I...er...," Zenigata stammered before shaking his head. "Look, that isn't the point! I'm a police officer, and you're a wanted criminal. That kind of behavior between us is highly unethical."

"Technically, you kissed me first," Lupin pointed out.

Zenigata flushed and tilted his hat down over his face, hiding his eyes. His lips quivered as a tear ran down his cheek.

His feelings towards Lupin were a giant, jumbled-up mess of emotions that he usually tried not to examine too closely. The only thing that mattered was catching Lupin. Tugging on the threads now, after everything that'd happened today, felt dangerous.

Concerned, Lupin rose up from the chair, moving to sit next to Zenigata. "Pops, hey. It's OK."

"Is it?" Zenigata refused to look at him. "God dammit. I'm not supposed to feel this way about the man I'm trying to arrest!"

Lupin reached out his hand, and when Zenigata didn't move away, placed it on Zenigata's knee. "Zenigata."

Zenigata loudly sniffled, wiping at his eyes. "What?" he said, turning his head towards Lupin.

"You helped me out when I needed it, and I'll always be grateful to you for that," said Lupin. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, passing it over to Zenigata. "When you were with me, the whole 'being turned into a cat' thing didn't seem so bad."

"You really mean that?" said Zenigata, taking Lupin's handkerchief.

Lupin nodded. "If it wasn't for you, I'd still be on four legs and McNally would be running around with the Eye, probably turning lots and lots of people into cats for extremely petty reasons."

That was enough to get a soft chuckle out of Zenigata as he dabbed at his eyes with Lupin's silk handkerchief.

A more comfortable silence fell between the two of them.

"What do we do now, Lupin?" said Zenigata with a sigh, giving Lupin back his handkerchief.

"Dunno," said Lupin. "I'm just kind of making this up as I go along." He scooted closer to Zenigata until he was nearly in his lap.

Zenigata snorted, but made no effort to push Lupin away. "That was more endearing when you had whiskers and a tail," he said.

"Well, there were some good things about being a cat," said Lupin. He gave Zenigata a toothy grin. "Now that I'm back to normal, guess that means no more head scratches, huh?"

"Probably not."

"Really? That's too bad." Lupin absently tapped his chin in thought. "Then what about this?"

Lupin leaned forward and kissed Zenigata on the cheek. It was just a quick, rather chaste, peck, but Zenigata couldn't hide the smile that came to his face.

"Those...those are OK," said Zenigata.

Lupin gave him a teasing grin. "Hey, you didn't swoon that time!"

"Shut up," said Zenigata not unkindly, turning slightly pink.

* * *

the end


End file.
